Managing Herpes: What to Expect After a Diagnosis and How to Cope with Outbreaks

As you all know, I love our Monday support group calls. We had some new faces this week, and it was, of course, wonderful to welcome new people. I also love seeing the members who have been coming for years. We are all united by one thing—a microscopic virus. We are all here to learn, understand, and heal from our diagnosis. So, with that being said, let's talk a bit about being newly diagnosed since we had some new members this week.

I received some questions about what types of symptoms to expect and the changes we go through when we're diagnosed. What exactly happens when the virus enters our bodies? Well, we're under attack—from our immune system, nervous system, and of course, our emotions. HSV (herpes simplex virus) is a pretty strong and sneaky virus that moves into our bodies and acts like it’s the boss.

When HSV enters the body, it targets our cells, particularly those in the nervous system. The virus travels through nerve endings to settle in the nerve ganglia, where it can remain dormant for long periods. When it's triggered—by stress, illness, or other factors—it reactivates and causes outbreaks. Our immune system immediately recognizes the virus as a threat and tries to fight it off, but since HSV is highly adaptive, it evades the immune response and establishes a permanent presence in the body. This initial invasion can cause a range of symptoms, including sores, nerve pain, fever, and general malaise. Emotionally, many people experience fear, frustration, and shame after their diagnosis, which is a natural response to feeling like their body is under attack.

I like to use this example: Let’s say you just purchased a new home. You’re so proud of it—it has the countertops you love, clean walls, and the bathroom of your dreams. You decide to bring in a roommate to help with the mortgage payments. But when this roommate moves in, they don’t clean up their dishes, leave laundry piled up, hang photos on your walls, order pizza at midnight, and throw parties all night long. You’d be pissed, right? Now, you’re stuck figuring out how to coexist with this messy new roommate.

That’s exactly what happens when the herpes virus moves into your body. It’s like an unwelcome roommate, causing outbreaks, nerve pain, and disrupting your system. The only way it survives is by having outbreaks and potentially spreading to someone else. When HSV first moves in, it takes control of your nervous and immune systems, causing symptoms like nerve pain, tingling, and inflammation as your body tries to combat the virus. Over time, you learn how to "coexist" with it and manage the symptoms more effectively.

Now, let’s talk about your first year with herpes. This year is typically the hardest, as you don’t yet know what causes your outbreaks. Maybe you’re getting them back to back, maybe you’re experiencing nerve pain, or maybe you’re so upset that you can’t get out of bed. All of these situations are unfortunately normal during the first year of a herpes diagnosis. As the year progresses, you’ll start to understand your own personal triggers.

For me, eggplant is a trigger. For others, it’s peanuts, coffee, or even alcohol. In fact, here’s a list of some common herpes outbreak triggers:

The way I see it, learning what triggers your outbreaks gives you the power to decide whether or not to indulge. Sometimes, it’s worth indulging in your grandmother’s peanut butter fudge at Christmas, even if you know peanuts are a trigger!

Another major factor that causes herpes outbreaks or prodrome symptoms (those early warning signs like tingling or nerve pain) is your nervous system. When you’re in a sympathetic state (a fight-or-flight response), your body is under stress. This state of heightened arousal gives the virus a green light to reactivate, leading to an outbreak or nerve pain. The herpes virus lives in our nerve cells, and when our nervous system is overstimulated, it can no longer keep the virus in check, allowing it to cause symptoms.

The same goes for our immune system. When we’re sick or fighting another illness, the immune system is preoccupied with that threat, giving HSV an opportunity to pop up. This is why outbreaks often occur when you're already feeling unwell.

But there are things you can do to help manage outbreaks and reduce the annoying symptoms that accompany a herpes diagnosis. If you choose, you can take prescribed antivirals like Valtrex (valacyclovir) or acyclovir. These medications work by stopping the virus from multiplying, which reduces the severity and frequency of outbreaks. They’re highly effective, and for some people, daily suppressive therapy with antivirals can help keep outbreaks at bay.

Personally, I prefer natural supplements. These supplements have shown great results in supporting the immune system and helping manage HSV. Some of my favorites include:

I take these supplements daily to help keep prodrome symptoms away and prevent outbreaks. You can order your supplements here.

Finally, the most important thing you can do is get your nervous system in check. As I mentioned earlier, if you’re in a constant state of fight-or-flight, your body won’t have the chance to fight the virus effectively. Your body is too busy reacting to the perceived threats around you—like being chased by a mountain lion! There are several practices that can help calm your nervous system, including breathwork, grounding, and journaling. These tools help shift your body out of the sympathetic state and into the parasympathetic state, where it can rest and heal.

I have a free video you can check out here to learn more about why your nervous system is the reason for your herpes outbreaks.

So, to wrap up: Yes, HSV moves into our bodies, but we have the power to tell it how to live. Just like that pesky roommate, we have to set boundaries and tell it how to coexist with us. This process might take a month, a year, or even a few years. I’ve had HSV since 2011, and while I still occasionally have outbreaks, 95% of the time, I know exactly what caused them and how to avoid them in the future.

I’d love to hear from you and see you in our next support group. We talk about these topics often, and I love how people from all over the world dealing with the same thing offer such great advice. You can join the support group here.

See you all next week! xoxo