Navigating the Eeyore Phase: A Journey to Self-Love After Herpes Diagnosis

This week during our support group call and on social media, the recurring theme has been centered around the challenges of leaving a relationship or starting to date again after a herpes diagnosis. The initial fear of feeling unlovable often stems from past hurts, making the diagnosis seem like the ultimate confirmation of being cursed to a life of loneliness.

In this blog post, we'll address this common struggle and discuss what I refer to as the "Eeyore Phase." As we delved into this topic during our Monday call, the palpable fear and sense of being unlovable were evident, even through the digital realm of Zoom.

I coined the term "Eeyore Phase" to describe the heavy cloud of negativity that envelops individuals in this state. Similar to Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh, we may feel stuck, walking around with a raincloud over our heads, convinced that we are destined to be alone. Reflecting on my own journey after being diagnosed in 2011, I found myself in a downward spiral of anger, fear, and feeling lost. I believed I was unlovable, leading me to consider settling for a relationship that wasn't right for me. Sharing a personal story of dating someone for a year before intimacy, I highlight the hesitation I felt and how that should have been a sign.

After contracting herpes, I endured two more years in a tumultuous relationship, clinging to the false idea that it was better than being alone. It wasn't until turning 30 that I realized I needed to break free from the toxic relationship. I made the conscious decision not to marry him and understood that being alone was a better alternative. This pivotal moment marked the beginning of my journey toward self-love.

Addressing the root cause of feeling unlovable is crucial. It may stem from conditional upbringing, witnessing parental relationships, or picking up limiting beliefs along the way. Journaling becomes a powerful tool to explore and confront these beliefs, realizing they no longer serve you. The herpes diagnosis serves as a wakeup call, motivating change, and breaking the cycle of unhealthy relationships.

For those currently in the Eeyore Phase, it's essential to recognize that you are on the right path. The work you're doing to heal and embark on a journey to self-love is commendable. By facing and challenging the belief of being unlovable, you pave the way for personal growth, setting boundaries, and gaining confidence. Remember, it's okay to be in the Eeyore Phase, but it's equally important to acknowledge that you're actively working towards healing and self-love. The support group is here for you, providing encouragement and understanding as you navigate this transformative journey.