3 Ways to Prevent Transmitting Herpes to Your Partner

78_ Ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner with alexandra harbushka - blog

Life With Herpes

Thank you for joining us today on the Life With Herpes Show. As always, I am excited you are here and grateful you are here so thank you.   Ok...I want to get right to it. I am asked daily how do I prevent passing herpes to my partner. Or I’m asked can I pass herpes to my partner? OR I am asked if I take the antiviral and use a condom can I pass herpes to my partner?   First I want to address why we don’t want to give someone herpes. Of course, the main reason is because we don’t want to have the “talk”. Let’s face it, it’s awkward. The other main reason is we don’t want to pass it to someone we love. At the end of the day, we don’t want to pass it so let’s dive in.   3 ways to prevent passing herpes to your partner:

  1. Education - education = power. The more you educate yourself on the virus the more comfortable you will feel with the situation. You will know how the virus is passed, you will know when you are most contagious, you will know what the best protection method is. Most of all you will be able to answer questions and put out some of the myths that go along with shitty stigma. Some of the best ways you can educate yourself is binge watch the past episodes in youtube, binge listen to this in iTunes, set up 1:1 coaching or you can purchase the Herpes Outbreak Toolkit that I have created. Everything you need to know is here.
  2. Talk to your partner - I know that this is the hardest one to do. We are scared of the rejection, the embarrassment, the shame and the list goes on. But this is the best thing for you and your partner. Let them know you have educated yourself on herpes and let them know how you know you have an outbreak. At the end of the day, communication is the best thing. This is a conversation you will have to have the rest of your life. Even when you are in a monogamous relationship you will need to tell your partner that you have an outbreak. I know this is hard but in the long run it will help you prevent passing it.
  3. Use protection - There are a couple of different methods you can use depending on your preference; there are the good old fashioned condoms, female condoms, dental dams and the antiviral. Latex condoms are the best at preventing the transmission. Here are some tips from the CDC on how to use a condom correctly.  A female condom is a little different than a male condom, it covers more surface area. The female condom goes inside the vagina and the base of it is left on the exterior of the vagina. Here are some tips from Planned Parenthood on how to correctly use female condoms. And lastly, for performing oral sex on a female it is best dental dams. You can make your own from a condom or female condom by cutting it open or you can purchase them. Here are some tips on how to make your own dental dam from the CDC. It is also recommended in conjunction with latex protection to take an antiviral. This will reduce the chance of having an outbreak (yay) as well as the chance of transmitting it. It is not 100% transmission safe and viral shedding can still occur if you are taking the daily antiviral.

So the bottom line is simple. Educate yourself as much as possible. Have the uncomfortable conversation (just do it). Use latex and an antiviral.

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Xoxo,

Alexandra



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2 comments

Cristy
 

Can you still transmit through a lesion , wound and/or thru sex even if you don’t have an outbreak?  Is it necessary to use protection every time you have sex even if you don’t have an outbreak? Thank you. 

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Sabina Gaspirc
Staff
 

@Cristy Sadly, you can still transmit herpes even though you don't have an outbreak. You can read more about viral shedding about this. 
Whether you want to use protection every time, it's up to you and your partner. Some people feel safer that way, others don't care. Some people prefer to take supplements to boost their immune system, and that is enough for them. Some use antivirals daily. Some don't do anything special. It depends where you and your partner are in a relationship - often if it's a new relationship, we want more protection, but if it's a serious one, lasting for a while, couples often decide to drop condoms, antivirals, etc. It requires communication and see what you want. There's no right or wrong. 

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