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Monday call Insights
Herpes: Shifting from Victimhood to Empowerment
This week, our support group welcomed new and familiar faces, including a member celebrating their 4-year "Living with Herpes" anniversary. It's heartwarming to witness our community grow and evolve while maintaining the same unwavering support for those navigating a herpes diagnosis. Our discussions delved into the complexities of emotions such as victimhood, shame, and empowerment, sparking a powerful conversation about discovering the core issues that herpes brings to the surface and how …
How Do I Deal with Herpes Shame?
This week's support group calls welcomed numerous new members (yay) and those recently diagnosed with herpes (welcome). For those of us who have walked this path, the initial diagnosis wraps us in a veil of shame, creating a fog that seems impenetrable. The beauty of the Secret Society Support Group lies in the collective experience, boasting over 70 years of combined wisdom from individuals living with herpes. Personally diagnosed with HSV1 in 2003 and HSV2 in 2011, I've traversed two decades o…
Can You Be Perfect with Herpes
The support group call this week delved into a topic we rarely discuss but is profoundly relevant - perfectionism. This hit close to home for me, being an only child and feeling the pressure to conform to an ideal persona. The journey of striving to be perfect has been a constant in my life, and the diagnosis of herpes brought a new layer of complexity to this pursuit of flawlessness.
Perfectionism often stems from external expectations, whether from family, peers, or society. Seeki…
Navigating Unexpected Rejection: Herpes and the Unseen Impact on Friendships
Living with a herpes diagnosis presents challenges beyond the physical symptoms and the potential rejection from romantic partners. Often overlooked is the heartbreaking reality of facing rejection from those we expect to stand by us unconditionally—our friends and family. In a recent support group meeting, the conversation delved deep into this aspect, shedding light on the often silent but profound impact of rejection within friendships following a herpes diagnosis.
The stories shared in ou…
Turmoil with the Herpes Outbreak Cycle
Let's talk about the emotional turmoil that accompanies the herpes outbreak cycle. It's akin to being trapped in a cycle, much like the "Hotel California" where you check-in but struggle to leave. The sensation of an outbreak emerging is all too familiar. It starts with tingling, itching, burning, or even pain, signaling another unwelcome episode of herpes. And so begins the roller coaster of anxiety.
This roller coaster doesn't wait for an invitation; it just shows up, demanding attention.…
My Fifth Cold Sore Ever and How We Support Each Other in Our Support Group Calls
As we gather each week for our support group, it never fails to amaze me how our conversations organically weave around different themes. Sometimes it's dating, rejection, diet – each sharing a piece of our lives. This time, I'm stepping into vulnerability to share my recent experience.
Let me take you to my Sunday. Picture this: a serene Sunday afternoon, watching my son splash in the bathtub when suddenly, I felt a tiny bump on my lip. Disbelief and panic struck. I had minutes before work…
Best Herpes Dating Advice: What Community Says?
Dating with herpes might feel like a the biggest task. The already complex world of dating seems to gain an additional layer of challenge—navigating the disclosure and acceptance of having herpes. When I received my genital herpes diagnosis back in 2011, fear engulfed me. It petrified me so much that I stayed in a relationship with the person I'd contracted herpes from. For two years, I held back, not knowing how to broach the daunting conversation of disclosure. Looking back, I wish I had posse…
Herpes & Forgiveness
In this week's support group call, our discussion centered around a topic that resonates deeply with many of us - forgiveness. A member shared a significant moment when she reached out to the person who gave her herpes, expressing her forgiveness. This act, born out of a conversation we had in a previous emergency call, highlighted a crucial truth: forgiveness is the key to overcoming the challenges that come with a diagnosis.
Initially, a herpes diagnosis can be overwhelming, inundating us…
Herpes as a Filter: Transforming Your Life beyond the Diagnosis
In those first, overwhelming moments, it's entirely natural to feel as if your world has come crashing down. The weight of fear, uncertainty, and the mistaken belief that your life is forever altered can be all-consuming. However, what you may not realize is that this diagnosis is far from the end; it's a profound opportunity to transform your life. It's a chance to initiate the changes that have been waiting to happen.
On a recent support group call, a major theme emerged: using herpes as …
How Can Dating with Herpes Be Liberating
This week in oursupport group, we had a heartfelt discussion about dating, and more specifically, dating with herpes. I remember the initial feelings I had when I was first diagnosed - the fear that I'd never find love again, the worry that nobody would want me, and the concern that I'd be viewed as disgusting or "damaged goods". But amidst all the uncertainty and anxiety, something remarkable happened: I started to gain a newfound self-confidence and a fresh perspective on dating.
Before her…