Herpes Is Just an Excuse to Not Get What We Want

I’m going to jump right to it and just say it. We use our herpes diagnosis to hold us back and keep us in the corner. 

Don’t agree with me?

When I was first diagnosed back in 2011 I can remember feeling all of my hopes and dreams just vanishing. I can remember thinking to myself, why’d I even bother going to college, why do I work so hard at work, why should I take care of my body and my health, there’s no way I’m going to marry the man o…

How To Be Yourself When You’re Dating With Herpes 

Dating can feel like it’s overwhelming and scary. We put so much pressure on ourselves from society, our family, maybe our friends to pick the right one and settle down. Being in love can be scary too. We don’t want to put our hearts out there to have it crushed or our ego completely shut down. 

Now let’s add our herpes diagnosis to dating. The thought of even dating with herpes sounds and feels impossible. Back to the ego and fear of rejectio…

What a Herpes Diagnosis and Casual Sex Really Mean

I’m going to get right to it. Yes, you can have casual sex even with a herpes diagnosis! 

But here’s the deal, there’s a few steps that need to be taken before jumping in between the sheets. 

When this topic comes up in my Emergency Calls or our Support Group calls it usually starts out with something along the lines of, “I can never hook up again” or “it’s so hard to watch my friends hook up with whoever they want and I can’t do that anymore…

You Can Have a Hot Relationship With Herpes 

Let’s face it. When we get diagnosed with herpes we think our sexyness is gone. It’s almost like it’s not possible to be sexy with a herpes diagnosis. I mean that’s what the stigma tells us. Personally, it makes me mad. 

The stigma tells us that we’re bad people or that we are no longer equal when it comes to having a hot relationship. Well, it’s totally BS. Everyone is deserving of a hot, juicy, steamy relationship. And here’s the secret. It takes …

Why we hold ourselves back in love with a herpes diagnosis 

Over the years of working on Life With Herpes I’ve spoken to people who’ve not gotten married because they have herpes. I’ve also spoken to people who haven’t had children because they  have herpes but that’s another blog. It makes me really sad when I hear this or read this.  

I know when I was first diagnosed I believe that I had to settle for who I was with because he had herpes, (my gifter) and that nobody would want me or find me…

Our idols even get herpes

We idolize celebrities and think they walk on water. They're usually very attractive, hard working and have made it into the spotlight. Often times we forget that they’re human and yep they do all the things we do; the fart, they make mistakes and of course they have herpes too. 

I have to say I had fun googling who has herpes. I felt like I was TMZ or Joan Rivers digging up dirt on people. Some people were sued for allegations that they transmitted herpes etc. Lik…

What you need to know about oral sex and herpes

One of the common questions I get from the community has to do with oral sex. Oral sex is kind of left out of the equation when we’re talking about sex, sex education or sexual health. Typically what comes to mind when we talk about sex is just the plane old heterosexual vaginal sex. And then when we talk about safe sex or even in sex ed classes, oral sex is kinda just left out. It’s like it’s not really considered sex.  

Ok so here’s the deal, y…

Do you always have to use protection now that you have herpes?

The quick answer is no! You can absolutely have unprotected sex even if you have herpes. Before we dive deep and go into explanation on this let’s talk about how this is a huge myth and is one of the drivers for the stigma.

When we are diagnosed and told that we have herpes we automatically think that we’re going to be forced to use condoms for the rest of our lives, even when we’re married. Yuck! And this is not true. Yes, condoms…

Yes, you can have sex and be intimate with your partner even if you have a herpes outbreak. 

Ok I’m sure you’re reading this going...what are you crazy!?! Before you start wondering about transmission and how this is going to work out let me calm you down and explain. 

Sex doesn’t have to mean vaginal sex. That’s typically what we think of when we hear the words sex. It’s pretty conventional and socially we’ve been programed to think of sex as vaginal intercouse. Well, there are many other way…

Herpes, Dating & Taking Control Of Your Sexual Health

In the Life With Herpes community, the number one question I get has to do with dating. The questions range from will I ever date again, will anyone ever love me, how do I tell my partner and anything in between. 

So here’s the answers….Yes, you’ll date. Yes, you’ll find love. Yes you’ll get the courage to tell the cute person your dating. And Yes you’ll have sex again!!! PROMISE!

There’s good news when it comes to dating with herpes. I’m …