Blog

Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we’re going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you’re contagious all the time and you’ll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true. 

Here’s how it works. 

Firstly, your entire body is not contagious. I’ve been asked by people who are newly diag…

With herpes being so common it’s actually rare to find someone without it. I hear time and time again from people who are just diagnosed with herpes, or if they haven’t processed their herpes diagnosis, say that their partner should go find someone without herpes. Or when a rejection happens the person is thinking that it's going to be way easier to find someone else without herpes. 

Well, the truth is that the majority of the population has herpes. Here me out. 

Honestly it’s hard to get an…

It’s totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I’m so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it’s what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone. 

Then we also have the pressure of the casual sex. Th…

First of all, congratulations!!!!! This is such an exciting time of your life and to think that you are going to have a baby! I honestly miss being pregnant and just enjoying all the anticipation and joy that was to come. 

OK, so back to you and your outbreaks. 

Obviously we don’t want to get outbreaks and we want to take care of our bodies the best we can to prevent outbreaks and also protect our baby. 

Let me tell you a bit abut my pregnancy. I went through IVF to have Clinton and I never…

This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I’m sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn’t tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach. 

First, I want to talk about why it’s important to disclose. At the end of the day you are sharing the most intimate part of yourself with someone else. That does not just mean emotionally, that also means physically. You are p…

Can you have sex if you have a herpes outbreak? Well yes and no. Let me explain.

Let’s back up a bit and talk about how herpes is transmitted. Herpes is transmitted via skin to skin. So what that means is that if you only have oral herpes and you have an oral outbreak, you are contagious only on your mouth. And vice a versa, if you have genital herpes and not oral herpes, then you are only contagious genitally. 

So is it possible to have sex with a herpes outbreak, well let’s define sex and …

If you’ve just gotten herpes and you are in a ton of pain physically and emotionally, I know what you are going through. 

Sometimes when I look back I think it’s the physical pain that is the most. And then there are other times I think, no, it’s the emotional pain. Regardless they are both there and you are probably feeling something that you have never felt before. 

First of all, I want you to take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn’t feel that way …

This has been a big topic on social media as well as in our Secret Society community. I’ve been getting lots of questions like; will sweat cause an outbreak, will friction cause an outbreak, will HITT cause me to get an outbreak, professional bodybuilders have asked questions about pre-workout and so on. 

I want to say first before going into the should and should nots, if exercise makes you happy and you love doing it, then keep it up. In general, if there is something that you love doing …

Yes, of course you can. But before you hit the sheets with your partner let’s talk about some details first.

One of the biggest fears or thoughts are about having sex when you’ve been diagnosed with herpes is that you’ll have to use a condom for the rest of your life. 

The other day I was listening to a podcast and the woman called on and said that she was interested in a guy but he has genital herpes. She naturally was concerned and proceeding very cautiously. I mean, I totally get it. One …

So I think all the toolkits and products that we have are great but if I had to pick one I think this is such an informative toolkit. 

Our biggest fear once we’re diagnosed is dating. It’s the fear of rejection, it’s the how do I disclose, do I need to disclose and so on. All of these feelings questions and emotions are valid and an important part of the herpes journey. 

What I did and I don’t want to happen to you is feel stuck and or not put yourself out there. I stayed in a relationship w…